I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize