I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
This girl is more easily done than said...
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
and she was petting her beer can
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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