After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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