I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
