So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Randomize
