# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
