well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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