Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize