we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
