It's like a parade of train wrecks.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
