what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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