I wanna bring you to show and tell
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
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