i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
