is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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