I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
i think im in europe. pls send help
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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