i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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