So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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