I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
