Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
