Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
