Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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