Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
