I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize