i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
