i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
