This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Damn victory sex feels great
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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