this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
