I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
