I'm going to jail i love you
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
