I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I wear drunk well.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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