Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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