I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
