do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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