saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
