somebody snuck up and got me drunk
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Randomize
