Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Randomize
