I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
