is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
