Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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