I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
