sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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