Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
