do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
