think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Just pee around me
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
