i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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