mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
