I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
