I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
