How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
