Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
