Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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