can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize