Dual....:-)
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
