Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
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