The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
