is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
