another moral hangover. fuck.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
