When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
