im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
i need some magic done to my vagina
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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