i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
